'Ghosts' of the past tell tales, and teach lessons in this true personal story of discovery and rebirth, prompted by an accidental visit to an old bookshop.
As I mentioned before, I waited until after you posted the Voice-Over, and I’m glad I did. First, I’m a speed-reader, and it really wouldn’t have done it justice to speed-read this piece. I would have skimmed over a lot of good little details. Second, I enjoyed hearing it in your voice, as it is always hard to read a piece that has a lot of internal monologue.
Example,
“Well this should be interesting!”
and
“And me, leaving the house without my derby!
I don’t automatically read that as something the narrator says. But I heard it properly in the audio version.
As for syntax & grammar, I won’t get into that much, except to mention one tip. Always watch for repeated words and eliminate, if you can. Example,
"and just alive enough to be interesting enough"
It looks weird to see the same word repeated. Instead, try,
"and just alive enough to be sufficiently interesting"
But I’m sure you really want to know how the whole piece landed. It was a piece that started out as a personal anecdote about a book shop, but developed into a story about the narrator and about our modern world, and ended with poem, and that is a difficult thing to stitch together, but I think it worked. It revealed a lot about you that I wouldn’t see in your other posts. Some of these lines are real gold, like this one
“You didn’t buy books there, you bought a snapshot of the legacy of the culture and knowledge of man.”
It also struck me in several ways, personally. Example,
“Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;”
that made me chuckle because Proteus is the name of the main character in my first book, Into the Fifth World!
But the piece really overlapped with what I’m researching right now, and this research will probably end up becoming a full book. In this line —
“Would it be better to be a pagan raised on old mythology than be a part of our spiritually disconnected modern world?”
I would answer Yes. Yes, it was better in the ancient pagan societies because they were virtuous out of necessity. It was for survival of the society, not simply because someone made up an arbitrary rule. And today, because survival is presumed, some tend to think that virtues are, as I said, simply arbitrary rules rather than necessities for survival.
And I place the blame at the Reformation, although it took a few centuries for the full decline to unravel … the Enlightenment, then Evolution, then Marxism, then Progressivism, finally contraception & divorce. A lot of people blame modern technology only, but the loss of virtue happened before then.
Anyway, that’s my thesis I’m working on, and your piece overlapped into a lot of similar themes.
“We have given our hearts away!”
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
And your poem at the end, it really captured a sense of optimism of a return to the kind of appreciation of the good, true and beautiful that will return once we recognize and undo the errors rooted in the Reformation. That’s my task ahead for later this year.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to go out and buy a derby!
I don't see my initial reply to you, and I just wrote a longer second response (a follow up) and accidentally clicked "Back" in my browser before sending the comment. Forgive me if this one is brief and seems to disrespect the time and effort that went into the valuable feedback in your comment.
-Maybe "just alive enough to be interesting-enough" using a hyphen would be less awkward? The way I wrote it in the piece is the way I speak/think. I don't mind changing things up to be more readable.
-Spiritualist paganism would be preferable to modern-day godless secularism. The spiritualists at least were guided by what they saw in nature, so God's law was still in play, manifested through the natural order.
-I'd like to read th piece you mentioned in an earlier comment. Something about the past...I don't remember the title. I wanted to double back and give it a read but now I can't find the comment. What was that piece?
-The Reformation, and also the "Enlightenment" each took a long time to show the poisoned fruit they were producing. I agree with what you said.
-It's interesting that you saw this as a story that started off being about a bookshop, and then became about me. Great analysis. I saw it differently after I finished the final edit; I saw it as a story that began about myself and became one about a bookshop lol. I didn't plan it either way.
-Don't be shy if you ever see a major wrinkle in my syntax or grammar.
-I didn't/don't actually own a derby but "And me, leaving the house without my derby" is the kind of wisecrack I make to myself every now and then lol. I could rock a derby though!
-Your feedback on the value of the VoiceOver was also worth gold. I prefer to read, and I always feel like a reader could get more out of a piece by reading it for themselves. But you made some really great points, so I think I'll try to record one of those with every written piece, and let the reader decide if they'd rather read or listen to it.
I am sincerely honored and grateful that you took the time to offer your guidance and share your wisdom in this feedback. It meant a lot to me. God bless and be with you, brother. Do let me know what that piece was!
This is interesting. Do you have more work anywhere online that I could read? (Forgive me if I'm addressing a famous author, I plead ignorance about a lot going on these days.)
Hey I just remembered there is one other "story" that I wrote that you might like. It's for paid subs, but I've opened it up to give you an opportunity to check it out. I'll put it back behind the paywall in a day or so. I hope you enjoy it. It's a personal story, this time from my childhood, "Confessions of a Penitent"
Oh I'm not at all famous lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I poured a lot of time and heart into it. Everything I write is here on Substack. I don't maintain a separate blog anymore, but even when I did, I posted more to Substack. Also this is the only story I've written. Most of what I've written here are essays and articles.
In the navigation of my Substack I have a "Writing" link which will bring you to all of my articles/essays, and filter out things like podcasts. That may make it easier for you, if you wanted to check out something else. God bless you, brother! Thank you for leaving a comment.
That was great! I finished listening on my drive to work. It resonated with the topics I’ve been writing about lately, my “Take Me Back to Yesterday” piece especially.
Thank you, brother. And I'm glad to know that free-subscribers can also get the VoiceOver, I appreciate you bringing that up. As I said, I never know if anybody listens to those, so your feedback was helpful
The Greatest Story Teller ever ❤️
Here is my ‘critique’ for your edification.
As I mentioned before, I waited until after you posted the Voice-Over, and I’m glad I did. First, I’m a speed-reader, and it really wouldn’t have done it justice to speed-read this piece. I would have skimmed over a lot of good little details. Second, I enjoyed hearing it in your voice, as it is always hard to read a piece that has a lot of internal monologue.
Example,
“Well this should be interesting!”
and
“And me, leaving the house without my derby!
I don’t automatically read that as something the narrator says. But I heard it properly in the audio version.
As for syntax & grammar, I won’t get into that much, except to mention one tip. Always watch for repeated words and eliminate, if you can. Example,
"and just alive enough to be interesting enough"
It looks weird to see the same word repeated. Instead, try,
"and just alive enough to be sufficiently interesting"
But I’m sure you really want to know how the whole piece landed. It was a piece that started out as a personal anecdote about a book shop, but developed into a story about the narrator and about our modern world, and ended with poem, and that is a difficult thing to stitch together, but I think it worked. It revealed a lot about you that I wouldn’t see in your other posts. Some of these lines are real gold, like this one
“You didn’t buy books there, you bought a snapshot of the legacy of the culture and knowledge of man.”
It also struck me in several ways, personally. Example,
“Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;”
that made me chuckle because Proteus is the name of the main character in my first book, Into the Fifth World!
But the piece really overlapped with what I’m researching right now, and this research will probably end up becoming a full book. In this line —
“Would it be better to be a pagan raised on old mythology than be a part of our spiritually disconnected modern world?”
I would answer Yes. Yes, it was better in the ancient pagan societies because they were virtuous out of necessity. It was for survival of the society, not simply because someone made up an arbitrary rule. And today, because survival is presumed, some tend to think that virtues are, as I said, simply arbitrary rules rather than necessities for survival.
And I place the blame at the Reformation, although it took a few centuries for the full decline to unravel … the Enlightenment, then Evolution, then Marxism, then Progressivism, finally contraception & divorce. A lot of people blame modern technology only, but the loss of virtue happened before then.
Anyway, that’s my thesis I’m working on, and your piece overlapped into a lot of similar themes.
“We have given our hearts away!”
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
And your poem at the end, it really captured a sense of optimism of a return to the kind of appreciation of the good, true and beautiful that will return once we recognize and undo the errors rooted in the Reformation. That’s my task ahead for later this year.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to go out and buy a derby!
I don't see my initial reply to you, and I just wrote a longer second response (a follow up) and accidentally clicked "Back" in my browser before sending the comment. Forgive me if this one is brief and seems to disrespect the time and effort that went into the valuable feedback in your comment.
-Maybe "just alive enough to be interesting-enough" using a hyphen would be less awkward? The way I wrote it in the piece is the way I speak/think. I don't mind changing things up to be more readable.
-Spiritualist paganism would be preferable to modern-day godless secularism. The spiritualists at least were guided by what they saw in nature, so God's law was still in play, manifested through the natural order.
-I'd like to read th piece you mentioned in an earlier comment. Something about the past...I don't remember the title. I wanted to double back and give it a read but now I can't find the comment. What was that piece?
-The Reformation, and also the "Enlightenment" each took a long time to show the poisoned fruit they were producing. I agree with what you said.
-It's interesting that you saw this as a story that started off being about a bookshop, and then became about me. Great analysis. I saw it differently after I finished the final edit; I saw it as a story that began about myself and became one about a bookshop lol. I didn't plan it either way.
-Don't be shy if you ever see a major wrinkle in my syntax or grammar.
-I didn't/don't actually own a derby but "And me, leaving the house without my derby" is the kind of wisecrack I make to myself every now and then lol. I could rock a derby though!
-Your feedback on the value of the VoiceOver was also worth gold. I prefer to read, and I always feel like a reader could get more out of a piece by reading it for themselves. But you made some really great points, so I think I'll try to record one of those with every written piece, and let the reader decide if they'd rather read or listen to it.
I am sincerely honored and grateful that you took the time to offer your guidance and share your wisdom in this feedback. It meant a lot to me. God bless and be with you, brother. Do let me know what that piece was!
https://catholicknighthood.substack.com/p/ask-a-knight-will-take-me-back-to
I call it my "Take Me Back to Yesterday" thesis.
This is interesting. Do you have more work anywhere online that I could read? (Forgive me if I'm addressing a famous author, I plead ignorance about a lot going on these days.)
Hey I just remembered there is one other "story" that I wrote that you might like. It's for paid subs, but I've opened it up to give you an opportunity to check it out. I'll put it back behind the paywall in a day or so. I hope you enjoy it. It's a personal story, this time from my childhood, "Confessions of a Penitent"
https://catholicadventurer.substack.com/p/confessions-of-a-penitent-drac-in?utm_source=publication-search
Oh I'm not at all famous lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I poured a lot of time and heart into it. Everything I write is here on Substack. I don't maintain a separate blog anymore, but even when I did, I posted more to Substack. Also this is the only story I've written. Most of what I've written here are essays and articles.
In the navigation of my Substack I have a "Writing" link which will bring you to all of my articles/essays, and filter out things like podcasts. That may make it easier for you, if you wanted to check out something else. God bless you, brother! Thank you for leaving a comment.
That was great! I finished listening on my drive to work. It resonated with the topics I’ve been writing about lately, my “Take Me Back to Yesterday” piece especially.
And that poem slammed!
Thank you, brother. And I'm glad to know that free-subscribers can also get the VoiceOver, I appreciate you bringing that up. As I said, I never know if anybody listens to those, so your feedback was helpful