When It's Time to Change...

Some thoughts on renewal, growth, and the role that our past should, and shouldn't have, in helping us to craft our future. Sometimes "...you've got to rearrange" (Are you getting the reference?)

If you’re following my work you know I’ve been on a ‘renewal’ kick lately. You can read about it here. In this first post for “Thoughts and Perceptions” I want to share a few thoughts with you about maximizing your ‘renewal’ potential.

Renewal is about growth, more than change. It involves change, but usually renewing a thing involves adjusting something rather than destroying what it is or was. No matter how much you try to renew yourself, or how successful you are at doing it, you’re still you, you’ve just modified something about you (or about the thing you’re renewing). The pre-existing “you” is the foundation for the new “you” that emerges through renewal. You may have changed your diet, but you still eat some of the same things you always loved. You may have found better friends, but there are always one or two friends you never jettison. You may have changed some routines but the new routines are usually woven from at least some of the material of your old routines. And then there are routines that you don’t change at all, because they don’t need changing. You get the idea.

So it’s important to keep in mind that renewal shouldn’t involve destruction, but rather modification, even craft. We have to be intelligent and calculated about it, avoiding the pitfall of believing that we can sculpt something beautiful by hacking at it with an axe.

The Past Parents the Present

It can be tempting, but errant, to believe that moving forward requires abandoning the past. The past can be a root that sustains life and enables growth. It can also be an anchor that keeps us from moving forward. Change (Growth) is uncomfortable and usually difficult. Sometimes we want to resist that discomfort and difficulty by holding on to the familiar—the past. We can’t grow or renew that way. But our pasts also inform our present and future, and not all of it is bad. Again, we have to be calculated and intelligent about how the past guides our renewal, without just hacking into oblivion.

By being mindful our our past we can learn from our mistakes, achieve the wisdom of perspective, and have a more informed reason that helps us to navigate our present, and a more empowered imagination to craft our future.

But there are some annoying little nasties that live in our pasts, and just as we want to be judicious about who we invite to Christmas, based on past dinner parties, we have to be just as discerning about whether and how we let the past visit our present and future.

The Past Visits the Present

The past can be a life giving root. The past also contributes to who we are now. Even our bad experiences shape who we are today. When put in their proper places those bad experiences, or choices can propel our renewal. When we allow them to rule over us, they either stunt our growth and renewal, or they can cause us to repeat old habits and cycles—our renewal becomes a repackaging of our past.

Our memories and past experiences are like guests that pop up. Don’t let bad guests live in your new/renewed house, not even for an overnighter. You may be stuck with them, like that pain in the ass cousin that you’ll always be related to and so will always have to deal with at someone’s birthday party or holiday. But you don’t have to let them live in your “house”. Let your encounters with the “bad guests” from your past be brief. Let them refresh your perspective and then move on. Don’t hold long conversations with them.

There are good “guests” from your past, too. Spend time with them here and there by celebrating your good memories when they come to mind.

Check Your Guest List

Old thought patterns are usually on the “nasties” list. Think differently. Change the record, as I say.

Don’t let the past write your future. Learn from your mistakes, and act on what you learn, but don’t let past keep your ambitions on a short leash.

Before changing or overhauling something, understand what didn’t work, and why it didn’t work.

There is something beautiful and good in the thing you’re trying to renew. Of course you’ll recognize some of it, but I promise you there is goodness and beauty you’ll overlook, too. Be creative, but don’t be Picasso. The things that need to change will jump out at you. Don’t get so creative that you start changing or adjusting things for the sake of novelty, because you could be pruning a good that you didn’t recognize.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought about this post.

Need more inspiration? Cue the Bradys!