Breaking Bread to Build Bridges
What will it take for us to learn to love each other, despite our opposing politics and perspectives? The guest list at a recent White House dinner gives us the recipe.
Some of the most powerful truths are often the most gentle. Being gentle, they wave, whisper, and send smoke signals in an attempt to get our attention. Eventually, they have to shout at us before we notice them, and when all else fails, they slap us in the face. A necessary "slap" that people need may have just come in the form of a dinner party at the White House, attended by figures you wouldn’t expect to see at a table together.
Staunch liberal commentator Bill Maher, known for his stern criticism of President Trump, attended the dinner, personally invited by conservative music artist and Trump supporter Kid Rock (or Macaulay Culkin—not sure which), along with UFC CEO Dana White. What was served up at the White House is a recipe for healing and civility that every well-intentioned human being needs.
Even heated political opponents can find commonality and foster a more unified dialogue by focusing on what we have in common, and learning from the reasons behind why we disagree.
This video is from Fox News. The essay continues below.
There are a few things we can learn from this dinner party and I want to offer it in response to a few quotes from the video.
“ I went on [Maher’s] podcast and I said, ‘man, you know, nothing happens if people don't break bread together and meet face to face’.”
A dinner party is an intimate gathering where sparks can fly, or relationships can be formed or strengthened. Don’t overlook the opportunity for good at your dinner table with your family, or shared meals at parties or holidays. At a dinner table there’s nothing to do but eat and talk to each other, especially when phones are taken out of the equation. We naturally try to find common ground in an intimate setting like this where there is no “escape” and no distraction to hide behind.
“…being face to face with them forces us to see past the image we have of them, and get to the image of God in them—who they truly are.”
It’s easy to hate the opposition when they’re just a figure on a screen or a printed page. But most people don’t deserve to be hated and being face to face with them forces us to see past the image we have of them, and get to the image of God in them—who they truly are. Seated together at a table or other personal setting, we share jokes, share our stories, thoughts and ideas; we give glimpses into our hearts, not just our thoughts. We also listen. Listening is a lost art today. So as much as we transmit our humanity in a close setting like this, we are also receiving the humanity of those at the table with us.
Because we’re so isolated in a digital age, we’re missing these opportunities to build bridges and to form friendships with people we disagree with, or who disagree with us.
“people now are in their own little silos and they don't even talk to the people across the street 'cause they voted for somebody else…. Isolation breeds hatred. We need to get out and talk to one another.”
When we see people’s identity as their political affiliation, everything about them becomes twisted into a false reality. If we’re politically compatible, we think our neighbor is terrific. If we’re politically opposed, we want nothing to do with them. The world wasn’t always like this.
“…the whole world, including human social culture, started to change after that”
From my perspective things started going in this direction in the period following the September 11th attacks. I, like many others, feel as if the whole world, including human social culture, started to change after that. It wasn’t an instant shift, but began as a slow dip, progressing to a nosedive into human disharmony, hatred and isolationism. The cherry on top was the COVID lockdowns, when forced isolation amplified the already long-existing signs of human social culture decay.
What will it take to love others, again? Do we have to be conquered by a foreign enemy, as the Jews of the Old Testament were, before learn to band together and ignore our differences? Is that what it will take to remind us that we are a human family? What will it take for us to remember to focus on the good of others, recognizing that we have our flaws, too, and the flaws or shortcomings and different-ness of others are no worse than our own? Life can be beautiful if only we could always focus on the good, and be patient with what isn’t ideal to our perspectives and opinions.
“And I go, ‘man, we're just trying to show people that even though we've been pretty hard on each other, that when you get face to face, maybe we could have a little more civility in this country's and try to bring people together.”
If people focus on their differences, they can only be pushed apart—like magnets of the same poles—never brought together. That’s is true in political and social discourse, and it’s true in our own lives, families and circles of friends. “The Good” is a powerful force of attraction.
People are not their ideas, it’s more accurate to say people are their hearts. Liberal and Conservatives both want to empower individuals and families and to achieve the common good, they just differ on how to do it. Pro-choicers want to protect women, pro-lifers want to protect babies and help women in crisis pregnancy. What do they have in common? The good of the woman, and the protection of a person (including, in the pro-lifer’s case, the person of the unborn baby). I try to focus on the good intentions of other people. Because we can’t change anyone’s mind by arguing with them, we can only do that by building bridges and talking to them, exchanging ideas, disagreeing civilly so that we can calmly challenge and learn from one another.
Reach out to someone you’ve put at a distance because of their opinions. Focus on the good in them, and the good intentions behind what you believe as a flawed or erroneous opinion. We can’t convert the world by carving out a new little world of our own. We have to do it through civility, charity and love guided by Truth. God bless and be with you all!
Ave Maria, Virgo Fidelis!
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